<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Kiss by LeastExpected_Archivist</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26199865">The Kiss</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist'>LeastExpected_Archivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drama, Incest, M/M, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2002-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2002-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:14:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26199865</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>by Carmen Ruiz</p><p>Merry loves Pippin and Pippin loves Merry. but none of them is going to say it. One day a kiss changes everything between them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merry Brandybuck/Pippin Took</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Least Expected</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Note from Amy Fortuna, the archivist: this story was originally archived at <a href="http://fanlore.org/wiki/Least_Expected">Least Expected</a>, which has been offline since 2002. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/leastexpected/profile">Least Expected collection profile</a>.</p><p>Disclaimer:<br/>Feedback: !!Feedback!!<br/>Story Notes:</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>THE KISS</strong>
</p><p>"Don't jump, Pip!" said Merry looking at his young cousin, who was sitting on a branch of an apple tree ready to jump to the ground. He had been picking apples from the tree and throwing them to Merry, who was under the tree with a big basket where he had collected them. But Pippin didn't pay attention and he jumped, falling on a mattress of leaves. Merry run to him.</p><p>"Are you all right?" he asked helping Pippin rise to his feet.</p><p>"Yep! Nothing broken!" answered Pippin smiling at him.</p><p>Merry looked relieved.</p><p>"You worry too much," said Pippin.</p><p>And then he pressed his lips against Merry's. It was a sweet and innocent kiss but his tender lips made Merry's heart beat faster against his chest. His beloved Pippin... Before Merry could kiss him back a furious voice broke the magic between them.</p><p>"Peregrin Took!!! What do you think you're doing?" roared Paladin.</p><p>Pippin looked at his father and blushed.</p><p>"How dare you!" he shouted at his scared son, slapping his face with all the strenght he could find.</p><p>"Uncle Paladin!" exclaimed Merry. He wanted to defend Pippin, to protect him "Don't hit him! He did nothing wrong!"</p><p>"Don't meddle in this, Merry!!" he turned to his son again and grasped his right arm "Damned brat! Now you're going to go home with me. You're going to regret what you've done!! Walk!!!"</p><p>"No, dad, please..." begged Pippin. He had never seen his father so angry and he was frightened.</p><p>"Uncle Paladin, please!" asked Merry.</p><p>"Don't make things worse, Merry," said Paladin "I'm not going to whip him, if that's what you're afraid of... although that is what he deserves!"</p><p>He left Merry there, feeling impotent. If only there was something he could do for Pippin!</p><hr/><p>Once at home Paladin slammed the door shut. When Eglantine, his wife, heard the noise she went to see what was going on and there she found Paladin looking at Pippin with flashy eyes.</p><p>"What's the matter?" she asked.</p><p>"I caught him kissing Merry!!!" answered Paladin.</p><p>"You kissed Merry?!" exclaimed Eglantine, horrified.</p><p>Pippin nodded.</p><p>"But... But, Pip..."</p><p>"I love him!" said Pippin "Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him but..."</p><p>"<em>Maybe</em>?" interrupted Paladin with his cheeks blushed with fury "Of course you shouldn't have done it! You shouldn't have even thought about it! It was disgusting!!"</p><p>"It wasn't disgusting!!" shouted Pippin.</p><p>Paladin slapped his face once more.</p><p>"Never. Never shout at me again, brat! I'm your father, and you're going to respect me!"</p><p>"It was only a kiss!" said Pippin.</p><p>"You kissed a <em>boy</em>!! Your cousin!!"</p><p>"But I love him..." insisted Pippin.</p><p>"You can't love him!! You can't love a boy! It's unnatural, it's immoral..."</p><p>"It isn't!"</p><p>"It is, Pip. I don't want to imagine what Merry must be thinking..." said Paladin in a softer voice.</p><p>That hurt Pippin more than the slaps his father had given him in his face. Merry. Now Merry would think he was an unnatural hobbit, an abnormal and immoral creature. He couldn't bear it and his beautiful green eyes filled with bitter tears.</p><p>"I didn't mean to hurt Merry," he said ruefully "I just... I love him... and... Don't tell him... He doesn't know... Please, don't tell him..."</p><p>Tears rolled down his cheeks. He had kissed Merry on impulse and now he felt dirty. His own father had told him it had been disgusting and he was ashamed at having done something so improper. Now Merry would despise him. He could never look into Merry's eyes again. His kiss. A kiss which was wonderful to him was a perversion to others, including his parents... and Merry.</p><p>"Go to your bedroom," said Eglantine coldly "Your father and I have to speak."</p><p>Pippin obeyed and he left crying. Paladin sighed and sat down on a chair. Eglantine sat down by his side.</p><p>"He loves Merry," said Paladin "My sister's son... A <em>boy</em>!!"</p><p>"Maybe he's only confused," said Eglantine "Merry is older, he's strong... He's intelligent and friendly, protective... and very good looking indeed. I supposse that what Pippin really feels is admiration for him. He loves Merry but not with the kind of love he thinks."</p><p>"Do you think so?" asked Paladin.</p><p>"Yes. He only needs time to see it."</p><p>"He will never see it if he stays here. I'm thinking... I'm thinking about sending him with my eldest sister, Angelica and Fred, her husband to Michel Delving. He will be far away from Merry. If he doesn't see him he will forget all that nonsense. It will be hard for him but it's the only solution I can find."</p><p>"It's a good idea," said Eglantine.</p><p>That night neither Pippin nor Merry could sleep. Pippin couldn't stop thinking that he had ruined everything. Why had he been so stupid? If he hadn't kissed Merry... He felt so miserable... He had done it wholeheartedly, guided by his love... and he had put his foot in it. A big tear fell on the pillow. Merry... Pippin began sobbing. What he felt for Merry was wrong. His pure feelings for his cousin, his love... Everything was unnatural. Disgusting. Depraved.</p><p>Merry couldn't get Pippin out of his head. He touched his lips; he could still feel the warmth of Pippin's kiss. He loved his cousin. He had never said anything to anyone. He had loved him in silence but in the last few months he had seen something new in Pippin's eyes, a new sparkle when Pippin looked at him. Merry had though Pippin had realized that what Merry felt for him was more than the affection of a cousin and he had felt rather embarrassed but Pippin didn't avoid him; quite the reverse: Merry had felt him closer, their friendship more intimate than ever... and that day Pippin had kissed him. And because of that kiss he was in trouble. Merry had to do something, but what?</p><hr/><p>The next day Paladin told his son what they had decided.</p><p>"Are you throwing me out?" asked Pippin.</p><p>"No, we aren't. We're only..."</p><p>"Yes, you are!" interrupted Pippin "You don't want me at home! That's why you're sending me with aunt Angelica and uncle Fred! And only because I kissed Merry!"</p><p>"Pip, try to understand it. We do it for your own good," said Eglantine.</p><p>"For my own good... or for <em>yours</em>? Are you ashamed of me because I like boys?"</p><p>"It isn't that, Pip. You're confused, that's all and..."</p><p>"I'm not confused!! I love Merry!! Why is it so difficult to understand?"</p><p>"Because it's unnatural!!" shouted Paladin "How many times do we have to tell you, you stubborn hobbit?"</p><p>"Stop telling me how unnatural I am!" Pippin answered back "I thought you loved me as I am, but now I see I was wrong!"</p><p>Paladin was beside himself and hit Pippin, splitting his lower lip open. He regretted it as soon as he saw the blood running down Pippin's chin but he didn't have time to apologize because Pippin spoke first.</p><p>"Do you feel better now? You can hit me as much as you want but that is not going to change things!!!"</p><p>"Go to your bedroom, Pippin. And don't go out!" ordered Paladin.</p><p>"You can't punish me!" protested Pippin "I'm twenty-nine; I'm not a child!"</p><p>"You <em>are</em> a child! You're under age. You'll be under age until you're thirty-three and until that moment you're going to obey me! And don't dare to answer back! Now go to your bedroom!"</p><p>"If you want me to leave home I will. But I'll never come back. Never!"</p><p>Then he went to his bedroom. Paladin and Eglantine heard him slamming the door.</p><p>"He's impossible!" said Paladin.</p><hr/><p>In the afternoon Merry went to see Pippin. He needed to know what had happened. He needed to see Pippin, to be with him, even though he couldn't tell him how much he loved him. It was Eglantine who opened the door and she smiled when she saw Merry.</p><p>"Hi, love, come in," said Eglantine standing aside.</p><p>"Hi, aunt Eglantine. Is Pippin in?"</p><p>Eglantine closed the door and sighed.</p><p>"He's punished. In his bedroom," she answered.</p><p>"Can I see him?"</p><p>"Of course you can!"</p><p>"Oh, hello, Merry!" greeted Paladin "Nice to see you."</p><p>"Hi, uncle Paladin."</p><p>"Er... Merry, about what happened yesterday...with Pippin..." said Paladin "I'm sorry if it bothered you."</p><p>"Oh, don't worry about that! Pippin is playful, you know. It isn't important," said Merry and Paladin relaxed.</p><p>But it was important. That kiss meant a lot to Merry. He went to Pippin's bedroom and knocked on the door but Pippin didn't answer, so Merry went into the bedroom. Pippin was sitting on the bed, with his back to the door.</p><p>"Go away. Leave me alone," he said.</p><p>"Pip, it's me," said Merry.</p><p>Then Pippin turned his head.</p><p>"Merry!"</p><p>Merry went to his side but Pippin looked down, ashamed of what Merry would think of him.</p><p>"Pip, are you O.K.?" asked Merry worried for him.</p><p>Pippin nodded. Merry saw the injury in his lip.</p><p>"Did he hit you?!" he asked.</p><p>Pippin nodded again.</p><p>"It was my fault," he said "I shouted at him and I was rude."</p><p>Merry stroked Pippin's hair.</p><p>"I'm... I'm sorry, Merry," said Pippin in a whisper "I shouldn't have... Forgive me."</p><p>"It's nothing, Pip."</p><p>Merry embraced his young cousin. Pippin didn't love him. It had been only a prank for him but Merry would never forget his kiss. He would always love Pippin. Always. Pippin closed his eyes to stop his tears. He didn't have the heart to tell Merry he was leaving. He couldn't tell him about his love; Merry would reject him. He would hate him and Pippin wouldn't bear it.</p><p>When Merry left Eglantine and Paladin saw a deep sadness in his eyes but none of them told him anything about it. Eglantine went to see Pippin but she heard him sobbing and went back to the sitting room with her husband.</p><p>"He's crying," she said "Paladin... And if he really loves Merry?"</p><p>"Then he will have to forget him," said Paladin "I love Pippin and I don't want to hurt him... but his love for Merry, if that's what it is, is wrong. It's unnatural because Merry is a boy, and it's forbidden because Merry is his cousin. It's unthinkable."</p><hr/><p>One day later Fred arrived in Tuckborough to take Pippin with him. Paladin had sent him a letter and the post service in the Shire was fast and efficient. Pippin put his bag with his clothes and a few things in the cart while Fred spoke with Paladin and then they left.</p><p>"He's so gloomy..." said Eglantine after the cart had disappeared in the distance "I've never seen him so sad. I'm worried for him."</p><p>"He'll be all right," said Paladin, but he wasn't fully convinced himself "He only needs a few days."</p><hr/><p>Pippin didn't speak in all the way.</p><p>"You don't look very happy," said Fred brusquely.</p><p>Pippin didn't answer and Fred continued speaking.</p><p>"Your father told me in the letter he sent. Shame on you!"</p><p>The young hobbit blushed.</p><p>"Don't speak if you don't want to! You will forget that stupidity in two days. To love a boy! What a depravity!"</p><p>Pippin wanted to uphold his love but he didn't feel strong enough to do it without crying, so he remained silent.</p><hr/><p>"Hey, dad has come back... with the freak!" said Isembold, Fred and Angelica's son to his broher Hildigarb when he saw their father arriving.</p><p>Angelica opened the door and looked at her nephew coldly.</p><p>"Hello, Pippin," she said.</p><p>"Hi," said Pippin. It was the only word he could utter.</p><p>"You've grown," said Isembold mockingly.</p><p>"He isn't bad looking," said Hildigarb "The girls will be disappointed; he doesn't like girls."</p><p>The two brothers laughed.</p><p>"Come with me," said Angelica "I'll show you your bedroom."</p><p>"And then you will come with me," ordered Fred "Some work will be good for you."</p><p>Fred made Pippin work with the sheep and pigs until dusk and then they went back to the hobbit hole to have dinner.</p><p>"Go and have a bath," told him Angelica "You stink!"</p><p>"He's been with the pigs," said Isembold while Pippin was walking to the bathroom in a loud voice so that he could hear it "It's the perfect work for him."</p><p>"Yes, he feels at home between them. As they are alike..."</p><p>Dinner was a torture for Pippin. His cousins enjoyed making fun of him and his uncle and aunt acted as if he didn't exist. When they finished Angelica told him to do the washing-up and Pippin obeyed without saying a word. He was homesick. He missed his parents and his sisters. Then he thought of Merry but that brought tears to his eyes. He didn't want Fred or Angelica or any of his cousins to see him crying, so he held back his tears. He went to bed exhausted but he couldn't sleep until it was very late.</p><p>The next day wasn't very different. He had to work from dawn to dusk but the worst of all were the humiliations he had to suffer.</p><p>"Look, Isem, here is the freak," said Hildigarb approaching the place where Pippin was picking potatoes from the kitchen garden.</p><p>"Don't draw near him," said Isembold with a contemptuous smile "His perversion could be contagious."</p><p>"Ugh! He likes <em>boys</em>! That's unnatural, isn't it?"</p><p>"Oh, yes, it is. The little dirty brat! His cock gets hard only with boys!"</p><p>They giggled.</p><p>"Hey, Pippin, do you like it?" asked Isembold "When you have a hard shaft in your hole, I mean."</p><p>Hildigarb and Isembold laughed. Suddenly Pippin threw them a pair of potatoes, which hit their heads. The two brothers, furious, ran after him. Pippin couldn't escape and soon they were fighting on the ground. Hildigarb and Isembold were older and stronger than Pippin and it was two against one, so Pippin had the worst part. However the young hobbit defended himself fiercely and the two brothers finished with several bruises. Fred saw them and went running to stop the fight. He was in a rage and grasped Pippin's hair, hurting him deliberately but Pippin didn't complain.</p><p>"This is the last!" shouted Fred "Your first day here and you're already causing trouble!!"</p><p>"<em>They</em> began!" protested Pippin.</p><p>"He hit us with potatoes!" said Isembold.</p><p>"That was to shut your dirty mouths!" snapped Pippin.</p><p>"<em>You</em> are the only dirty thing here!" replied Hildigarb.</p><p>"That's enough!!" shouted Fred and then he looked at Pippin "I don't know what they told you but whatever it was I'm sure you deserved it!"</p><p>"We only called him 'freak'!" said Hildigarb.</p><p>"Well, that's what you are," said Fred "You like <em>boys</em>, and that's unnatural. It's depraved. You're a shame for all the family! And now go on working!"</p><p>They left him alone, with a lump in his throat. He was a shame. His parents had sent him away. He couldn't see Merry. Would Merry think he was a shame, a freak, if he knew about his love for him? He didn't want to cry but he couldn't help it. Tears mixed with the mud on his face and the blood shedding from his nostrils.</p><hr/><p>Merry was worried for Pippin. He had been punished a lot of times because of his pranks but Merry had never seen him so sad. He decided to go back to see him but when he arrived Paladin told him Pippin had left.</p><p>"But where to?" wanted to know Merry.</p><p>"We sent him to Michel Delving, with Fred and Angelica," answered Paladin.</p><p>"Fred and Angelica?" Merry didn't like them at all "But they're so... harsh. Uncle Paladin, it was only a kiss, he was playing, that's all."</p><p>Paladin sighed. It wasn't all but he couldn't tell Merry about it. He couldn't tell Merry Pippin loved him... and not as a cousin. Or that was what Pippin said.</p><p>"He has to learn, Merry. He has to know he can't play with people, he can't do as he pleases." Paladin smiled "I know, he's very young and impulsive but believe me, Merry, he can drive you mad. Anyway, I'll come for him in some days."</p><p>If Paladin had known how much Pippin was suffering he would have gone without wasting one more second but he couldn't imagine how ruthless they were being with him. One week later Pippin's heart was broken; they made him feel as if he was rubbish. His cousins were laughing at him all the time, telling him cruel things, just to have fun. He had to work all day and he was very tired, physically and mentally. One night, while everybody was sleeping Pippin ran away. He didn't know where to go; he only knew he had to leave the path or they would find him, so he went to the forest. He would find a way to go home. His parents wouldn't send him back. They wouldn't. He would lie. He would say he didn't love Merry anymore. The thought of Merry made him cry. He cried so often now...</p><p>The next morning Paladin arrived in Michel Delving to take Pippin home but Fred told him he had escaped during the night. They looked for him but they couldn't find him, so Paladin, desperate, went back home. He had to organize a party to look for his son.</p><p>After three days walking Pippin was exhausted; he had only stopped to rest a little bit but he had walked day and night. It was raining and his clothes were soaked, he was shivering with cold and he was hungry but he had no food. He was wandering, lost, when he ran across the root of a tree and fell down. He was too weak to stand up, too tired. He lost conciousness and knew nothing else.</p><hr/><p>Half the Shire was looking for Pippin. They organized different parties to look for him in different places but there was no trace of him. Suddenly Togo, a stout hobbit from Buckland, found him motionless on the ground and ran to him.</p><p>"Hey, I've found the Took boy!!" he shouted.</p><p>He knelt down and took the young hobbit in his arms.</p><p>"Pippin!" he called shaking him gently "Wake up, lad!"</p><p>Togo patted his cheeks and Pippin opened his eyes, startled.</p><p>"Everything is all right, little one," said Togo calming him down "You're safe now."</p><p>Pippin closed his eyes and Togo put his hand on his forehead.</p><p>"He has a very high temperature," he told the others, who had approached "He's burning!"</p><p>Togo covered him with his cloak. Then they took him to Saradoc's house; it was very near and Pippin needed to be nursed as soon as possible.</p><p>Saradoc and his son, Merry were looking for Pippin and Esmeralda was alone at home when they arrived with him. She gasped when she opened the door and saw Togo with her nephew in his arms. They took him to a bedroom and undressed him.</p><p>"He's drenched to the skin!" exclaimed Esmeralda removing Pippin's shirt "Oh, poor little one!"</p><p>Esmeralda kissed his cheek and dried his hair with a towel while Togo removed his breeches.</p><p>"Please, don't send me back," begged Pippin with a cracked and quavering voice "Aunt Esmeralda, please... Don't tell them I'm here..."</p><p>"Sssh. Don't worry for anything, love. You're ill, you have to rest. Put on this nightgown," she said giving him one of Merry's nightgowns "Let me help you."</p><p>Then she put him to bed.</p><p>"Now try to sleep, Pip," she told him tucking him up.</p><p>Pippin closed his eyes. He was worn out and soon he fell asleep.</p><p>"I'm leaving, Esmeralda," whispered Togo "There's nothing else I can do for him."</p><p>"Thank you, Togo, thanks for everything," said Esmeralda.</p><p>"The important thing is that we've found him," said Togo smiling.</p><p>Esmeralda saw him to the door and went back with Pippin. She put a wet cloth on his brow to lower his temperature. She was with her nephew until she heard the door. Saradoc and Merry were back and Esmeralda ran to them.</p><p>"Nothing," said Saradoc "Where can he be?"</p><p>"He's here, in bed," said Esmeralda, and Merry's eyes came to life again "Togo and his party found him in the forest, unconscious. He's very ill, but he'll recover."</p><p>Saradoc and Merry smiled and went to the bedroom to see him.</p><p>"Don't make noise!" warned Esmeralda "He's asleep."</p><p>"Do your brother Paladin and Eglantine know Pippin is here?" asked Saradoc.</p><p>"Somebody went to Tuckborough to tell them. They'll come as soon as they know it," she answered.</p><p>Saradoc stroked Pippin's curls with affection and left the bedroom with Esmeralda. Merry stayed with his cousin. He couldn't believe he was there, sleeping. He had felt so anguished, thinking that something horrible could have happened to him...</p><p>When Paladin and Eglantine were told where their son was they went to Buckland without wasting time. Saradoc told them to stay with them until Pippin was fully recovered. There was place for everybody and it was better for Pippin not to move.</p><p>Eglantine nursed Pippin all through the night; she didn't want to go to bed. The rest of them told her to wake them up if she needed something. Merry got up early in the morning and went to see how his cousin was.</p><p>"He's better," whispered Eglantine "His temperature is lower."</p><p>Merry smiled and looked at Pippin. His head was at a tilt and his curls were spread on the pillow. He was very pale and he had dark bags under his eyes but still Merry found him beautiful.</p><p>Two hours later Pippin woke up. There was his mother, at his bedside, smiling at him.</p><p>"Pip... My boy..." she said kissing his cheek.</p><p>"Mum..."</p><p>Eglantine embraced him.</p><p>"We were so worried..." she said "I was beginning to think I had lost you."</p><p>"Pippin!" exclaimed Paladin entering the room.</p><p>He took his son in his arms.</p><p>"I'm sorry," said Pippin crying "I'm sorry, dad... Don't send me back, please. I'll do what you want but, please, don't send me back. I'm sorry..."</p><p>"Don't cry, Pip," he said kissing his head "I was too hard with you and I'm sorry about it. I didn't mean to hurt you, son. Now stop crying. You're here, with us."</p><p>It was then when Eglantine saw Pippin's hands. They were dry, full of cuts and some of his nails were broken.</p><p>"Oh, Pip, your hands! What happened?" she asked.</p><p>"I... I had to work all day... I was very tired but they didn't let me take a rest."</p><p>He didn't tell them about their insults or their cruel comments. He didn't tell them about the humiliations he had suffered and above all he didn't tell them about his love.</p><p>Saradoc, Esmeralda and Merry went to see Pippin as soon as they knew he had woken up. Pippin was surrounded by his dear family but he felt anguished. It was hard for him to hide his feelings. What would his uncle and aunt think of him if they knew he loved Merry? And Merry? What would he think?</p><p>Merry knew something was troubling Pippin but he didn't know what. He was so sad... and that was something unusual in him.</p><p>"Aren't you going to tell me what happened?" asked Merry.</p><p>Pippin looked at him with feverish eyes but then he looked away. That hurt Merry. Why was Pippin avoiding his eyes? They were alone in the bedroom; the others were in the sitting room.</p><p>"I told you," said Pippin "They made me work all day."</p><p>Merry sighed.</p><p>"You can't fool me," said Merry with affection "I know there's something else. And whatever it is it's hurting you."</p><p>Pippin didn't say anything. Merry put his hand on Pippin's shoulder.</p><p>"You know you can rely on me," he said.</p><p>"I can't tell you, Merry," said Pippin and tears began to roll down his cheeks "Don't hate me. Don't hate me for not telling you, please, Merry. I just can't..."</p><p>"Oh, Pip..."</p><p>Merry took him in his arms and rocked him, letting him cry on his shoulder.</p><p>"I don't hate you, Pip," said Merry "How am I going to hate you? That's impossible!"</p><p>It was a torture for Merry to have Pippin in his arms, to feel him so close and so far at the same time.</p><p>"What have they done to you, Pip?" asked Merry "Where is your smile? What's making you suffer so much?"</p><p>"Don't ask me, Merry," sobbed Pippin "Please. Don't ask me."</p><p>"It's O.K., Pip, calm yourself," said Merry.</p><p>He couldn't bear seeing Pippin crying. He touched his brow and saw his cousin had a temperature. He cradled him until Pippin fell asleep. Merry held him in his arms, crying in silence. What could be so horrible that Pippin didn't want to speak about it? Why was he so disturbed? Merry put him to bed carefully, not to wake him up.</p><p>"I love you, Pip," he whispered kissing Pippin's brow "I wish I could tell you how much I love you... but I can't."</p><p>He left the bedroom drying his tears. He could never tell Pippin about his love. That would hurt him, it would cause a rift between them and Merry would never do something that could hurt his little cousin.</p><hr/><p>Esmeralda saw her son sitting in the garden from the kitchen window and sighed. She knew about Merry's feelings. He had never said anything but she knew. And so did Saradoc. She went out to the garden to be with him and she sat down by his side.</p><p>"How are you, Merry?" she asked.</p><p>"Fine..." he answered.</p><p>Esmeralda didn't know how to begin the conversation, so she went directly to the point.</p><p>"You love him, don't you?" she said.</p><p>"Eh?" Merry had heard perfectly but he couldn't believe what his mother had said.</p><p>"You love Pippin."</p><p>"Well, yes. He's my cousin," said Merry, but he had blushed. What an embarrasing situation!</p><p>"Don't act the fool with me, Meriadoc Brandybuck! I love him too; he's my nephew, but that isn't the kind of love I'm talking about, and you know it!"</p><p>Merry looked alarmed but Esmeralda smiled and stroked his curls.</p><p>"How... how did you...? How can you...? But..." stammered Merry.</p><p>"I'm your mother, lad; I know you. I see it everytime you look at him." Merry opened his mouth to say something but Esmeralda didn't let him "No, don't worry, nobody else knows it, apart from your father. You hide it very well. Not even Pippin has realized."</p><p>"Don't tell him anything, mum, please..." asked Merry.</p><p>"I won't. But, Merry, your love for him is making you suffer and I don't want you to suffer."</p><p>"I know it's an unrequited love but I'm happy just seeing him, being near him. That's enough for me."</p><p>"Pippin hurts you. He doesn't know it, he's unaware of it, but he hurts you. He loves you very much... but in another way. He relies on you, you're the big brother he doesn't have... and one day he'll tell you he's fallen in love with a lass and he'll break your heart, Merry."</p><p>His mother was right but Merry didn't mind it. He smiled.</p><p>"You didn't mention the fact that he's a <em>boy</em>," he said "I thought you would consider it a scandal."</p><p>Esmeralda laughed.</p><p>"A scandal? No, my lad. Your father and I only want you to be happy, and if your happiness is with another boy... it's O.K. with us."</p><p>"Thank you, mum. Thanks for your support," said Merry smiling at her.</p><p>Esmeralda ruffled his hair and went back to the kitchen.</p><hr/><p>All of them were worried for Pippin. After three days his temperature had dissapeared but he wasn't the cheerful hobbit they all knew any more; he was always sad and he burst into tears so easily...</p><p>"I don't know what's going on with him," said Eglantine one afternoon "He doesn't say anything. I know he had a very bad time in Michel Delving, but..."</p><p>"Poor little thing!" said Esmeralda "Those heartless hobbits made him work as a slave! I supposse he's still scared. And besides he doesn't feel very well."</p><p>"There's something else," said Eglantine "I don't know what, but something."</p><hr/><p>Merry was determined to discover what was hurting Pippin so much. He went to Pippin's bedroom with a glass of milk.</p><p>"I've brought you this," he said "Here you are."</p><p>Pippin took the glass with trembling hands.</p><p>"Thank you, Merry," he said.</p><p>He drank the milk. Merry smiled when he saw the white moustache the milk had left on his upper lip and gave him a napkin to wipe it.</p><p>"Pippin... why don't you look at me?" asked Merry.</p><p>Pippin didn't answer.</p><p>"Why don't you let me help you? Tell me what happened. Please, Pip, I can't bear to see you suffer. Why are you so sad, so depressed? You've never been like this before. Everybody is worried for you."</p><p>Pippin remained silent for a moment and then he said:</p><p>"I'm unnatural, Merry. They insulted me. They told me I'm a depraved and immoral hobbit, a freak... they told me terrible things... They were laughing at me all the time..."</p><p>Merry was horrified. What kind of creature could be so cruel as to treat Pippin in such a way, to tell him those things? It was inhuman! Pippin was crying disconsolately and Merry stroked his curls.</p><p>"They told you those things to make you suffer," said Merry trying to console his little cousin "You aren't unnatural, Pip. How can you think that?"</p><p>"I am!" sobbed Pippin</p><p>Pippin couldn't stop crying and Merry felt so much love and tenderness for him...</p><p>"But, Pip..." Merry embraced him.</p><p>"Even my f-father told me I-I'm unnatural and he also t-told me that what I d-did was immoral."</p><p>"But he told you that because he was angry. Your father loves you, Pip; he didn't feel what he told you. You were playing, that's all."</p><p>Pippin couldn't bear it longer; he had to tell Merry the truth. He couldn't live lying to Merry, hiding his true feelings for him.</p><p>"I wasn't. I... I kissed you because I love you, Merry. I'm sorry... I didn't decide it; it just happened... I don't know how, but it happened. I love you, and that's why my parents sent me to Michel Delving... because they thought I'd forget you... but I didn't. And Fred and the others despised me because what I feel is unnatural. Don't hate me for this, Merry; I couldn't help it... Don't get angry with me... please... Please, Merry..."</p><p>Merry was stroking his hair and his back. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.</p><p>"I love you too, Pip," he said "I've loved you for so long..."</p><p>Merry kissed Pippin's lips softly.</p><p>"This is wrong, Merry," said Pippin "It's unnatural."</p><p>"It isn't. It's just... different, but it isn't unnatural. It isn't wrong. I love you, and nobody is going to tell me that's wrong. And now stop crying, my dear Pippin," said Merry tenderly drying Pippin's cheeks with his hands "This is suppossed to be a wonderful moment and you're spoiling it with your tears!"</p><p>Then Pippin smiled and Merry felt happy for it.</p><p>"That's better, much better," he said looking into Pippin's green eyes. He stroked his smooth cheek and took him in his arms to kiss him again slowly, brushing Pippin's innocent lips with his. Merry felt him trembling.</p><p>"Are you cold?" he asked.</p><p>"No. It isn't cold, Merry."</p><p>Merry held him tight.</p><p>"I'd hold you in my arms forever," he said.</p><p>Pippin sighed. Merry felt his fingers tangling in his curls, his breath caressing his neck and the warmth of his slim body wrapping him.</p><p>"Merry, how am I going to tell my parents?" Pippin asked "They won't accept it. When I told them I love you, they got so angry..."</p><p>"Don't worry for that. I'm sure they will understand it. My parents know I love you and they accept it. Yours will also accept it, Pip, you'll see."</p><p>"Even being cousins?"</p><p>"Even being cousins."</p><hr/><p>Merry was right. At first Paladin and Eglantine were shocked but then they saw that Pippin really loved Merry.</p><p>"So it wasn't a prank of yours after all," said Eglantine.</p><p>"No. I love him, mum. And I don't mind if you tell me it's unnatural, or immoral, or..." said Pippin.</p><p>"Stop, stop, stop," interrupted Paladin "I know I told you horrible things and I regret it, Pippin. Now I see how wrong I was. Will you forgive me for that?"</p><p>"Did you tell me horrible things? I don't remember," replied Pippin.</p><p>"We love you, Pip," said Eglantine taking her son's hand in hers "We're glad that you and Merry are together at last."</p><p>Pippin smiled and embraced his parents.</p><p>"Thanks for understanding it! You're the best parents in Middle Earth!"</p><p>In the evening Pippin got up. He appeared in the sitting room in his cotton nightgown, startling everybody because they didn't expect him.</p><p>"Excuse me, where are my clothes? I can't find them in the bedroom," he said.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" asked Eglantine "We thought you were taking a nap!"</p><p>"You should be in bed, Pippin," said Esmeralda "You need to rest."</p><p>"I'm bored of staying in bed all the time. And besides I feel better," protested Pippin.</p><p>"It's OK then," said Eglantine reluctantly "Come with me, I'll give you your clothes."</p><p>Pippin followed her and after getting dressed he went back to the sitting room eating bread and cheese.</p><p>"Well, he's definitely better," said Paladin and the rest laughed.</p><p>Two days later Paladin, Eglantine and Pippin went back home, for Pippin was fine.</p><p>"I'll go to see you," told him Merry. The others had left them alone so that they could speak freely "Tomorrow." "See you tomorrow, then. I love you, Merry." Merry didn't say anything but he kissed him. This time the kiss was deeper; Merry explored Pippin's mouth with his tongue. Slowly. Pippin let him do; he liked the intrusion. He remained passive at first but then his shy tongue met Merry's and unknown feelings of pleasure woke up in him. They broke the kiss breathless. "Oh, Pip... I love you so much...!"<br/>"Is it a secret, Merry?," asked Pippin "I say it because I'd like to hold your hand and kiss you and embrace you, like the rest of the couples do, without hiding, you know." "No, it isn't a secret," said Merry smiling "But we'll have to take into account that we are going to be a subject for gossip for the next years in The Shire! It may be hard." "I don't mind it, as long as I'm with you." "I love you, Pip."<br/>Pippin kissed Merry's lips and he left.</p><hr/><p>"Happy birthday!!" exlaimed Merry hugging Pippin. Four years had passed and that day Pippin came of age. "Well, you're oficially an adult hobbit now!" said Merry looking at him with his velvety eyes. "I am, yes... Merry, what do you want for my birthday?" asked Pippin. "I'll tell you later. For the moment I have a surprise for you" "Really? What is it?"<br/>Merry laughed.<br/>"If I tell you it isn't a surprise," he replied. "Give me a clue, then!"<br/>"No clues, Pippin! If it's a surprise, it's a surprise; I'm not going to tell you anything about it. And now c'mon, we have to go to Hobbiton!" "Hobbiton? Are we going to visit Bilbo and Frodo, and Sam?" "Not really, although I suppose we'll come back together for your party. Let's go!" said Merry taking Pippin by the hand "We have to saddle the poneys!"</p><p>When they arrived in Hobbiton Merry led Pippin to a hobbit hole in the outskirts Pippin hadn't seen before. Merry opened the door and they entered. "Who lives here?" whispered Pippin, thinking they were there to see somebody. "You and me. If you want, that is to say," answered Merry. Pippin looked at him open-mouthed.<br/>"Merry!"<br/>"Well, this is your surprise! I saw this little hill and I thought it could be a good place to build a hole for you and me." "Oh, Merry! It's a wonderful place! I'm going to have a look!" He went running from one room to the other, exclaiming "oh!" and "ah!" everytime he saw something which attracted his attention. "Oh, what a kitchen, Merry! There's so much light in it! It's great!" and then Merry saw him running to another room "Ah, the sitting room! Oh, there is a fireplace! And shelves for books, and... Oh, Merry, this sofa is very comfortable! And the armchairs!!" Merry smiled. Pippin was as excited as if he was discovering a new world... and in some way it was. A new world for them. Pippin left the sitting room to run to the bedroom "Merry! Oh, Merry! How nice!! Oh, look at this bed! How comfortable!!" he exclaimed lying on it and jumping "Ah, and the pillows are so soft! Oh, Merry, it's like being in a cloud, you know! Hey, what's that?" He continued for some minutes and after he had finished exploring he went back with Merry, who was waiting for him in the hall. "Do you like it?" asked Merry "It isn't very big but..." "It couldn't be better, Merry; I love it!" said Pippin. "Do you want to come to live with me, then?" "Oh, Merry, yes!" answered Pippin throwing himself into Merry's arms "Yes, yes, yes!" They kissed intensely. Merry broke the kiss when he heard Pippin groaning. He stroked his smooth cheeks and he brushed his parted lips with his fingertips before kissing him again. "Come with me," said Merry, holding Pippin by his waist and pushing him gently. "Merry..." sighed Pippin, beginning to walk backwards. Merry took him to the bedroom and he made him lie on the bed. They had never made love for Pippin was under age; they had touched and stroked each other under the clothes but Merry had always respected Pippin's innocence, although sometimes the need was unbearable for both of them. That day it was Pippin's thirty-third birthday and they could forget all the things which had been forbidden for them. Merry began unbuttonning Pippin's shirt. "And now, my love," he said "I'm going to tell you what I want for your birthday."</p><p>
  <strong>FIN</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>